He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
