So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
