You're my little dorito
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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