brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
