12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The ass gains better be worth it
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