i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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