Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Don't make out with my wife yet
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
