Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
