ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
