just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
