how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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