I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
