never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
