loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
