I can text with my tongue
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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