i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
