you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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