Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
