Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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