i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We are all done wearing pants today
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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