Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
