Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
