If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
