Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
