I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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