Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
