im drinking this country out of the recession.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize