how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
