Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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