I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize