If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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