just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
