super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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