That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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