Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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