We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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