Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
