ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
