yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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