I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
