I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
