are you still at the devil's house?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
