I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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