you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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