We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
