U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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