Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
accomplished twins. life is a go
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize