i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
