If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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