Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
