I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
