It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
