D3 body, D1 cock
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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