we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
