It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize