This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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