You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Randomize