Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
