shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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