the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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