i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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