I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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