just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
