I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
